Do you ever look around at yourself and think - wow I've done it, I'm a real adult and am doing real adult things? And then - BAM - something happens or you do something stupid enough to realize that you really haven't progressed much beyond your 12-year-old self. That's where I am right now. I have found that there are things that you really just don't grow out of no matter how hard you try or want to. The magic quality of age really just takes away your excuses.
The following are things that your 12-year-old self expected to have changed by the time you reached that mystical period of adulthood, but yet they still a big features in your life.
Acne
When you're about 10 or 11 you are right at that stage where you start to notice other people and, coincidently, you want them to notice you right back. Unfortunately biology at that point pulls a big practical joke at the expense of adolescent self-esteem everywhere and throws your body into chaos. A side effect of said chaos: creating a battlefield on your once perfectly fine face. Before stability reigned and maintaining your complexion was something you decided to do every few months by digging into your mom/older sister's bathroom drawer and slathering your face with whatever tubed substance that looked fancy (note: this makes for awkward conversations with said mom/sister when they want to know why you have a combination of rubbing alcohol, lotion, $30 hand cream and anti-fungal solution smeared on yourself, the counter and family dog). When you hit puberty, however, those once contented pores begin to recognize their discontent and declare war against "the man" which happens to be you. Your response to this is much like a Middle Eastern authoritarian. You attack the pockets of rebellion without mercy, but your own insiders (read fucking hormones) have turned against you. You resign yourself to a long war against your own face. But there is hope! Your mother assures you that this plague will leave eventually and adulthood has a shiny promise of clear, beautiful skin.
Flash forward 10-12 years and your mom is clearly a lying bitch (Disclaimer: this only applies to your mom; mine is awesome). The promise land of clear skin has never been found and your enemy has gotten more and more clever. What once was a simple assault of zits and breakouts has become a land mine field filled with additional weapons such as blackheads, scarring, and dry patches. Waking up with a pimple on picture day? Pshhh that's nothing compared to walking into a job interview in a business suit while your face looks like something from a John Hughes movie.
